Monday, 15 September 2014

The Gate
The birds are chirping the cows are mooing, and I'm humming along. 
''Sure dad, but just to be sure tell me again I wasn't listening ''   ''Your funny. So you have to go and lock the cows away, they're in pad 21. And then you have to come to the shed and give me bear hug.''
 ''Okay. That gate is easy ay.'' 
But he didn't reply he had already gone. 

Come on open, this isn't right this is paddock 22. Well just gotta keep trying, open you silly gate. I'm going to be in big trouble man, Dads so gonna growl me. Open, open, open. Come on, YES got it  yeah i got it. yay! Once I had done that and shut it, i couldn't get my bike started. ''HELP someone HELP PLEASE.'' 

The bike revved like a chainsaw, as  I put it I it into gear. I had got it going, I ran up to dad and gave him a bear hug. I hopped back on my bike. AGGHHH! I had lost control i was like a alligator balancing on a fish! and then suddenly it happened something i will never forget.

The damn fence, ow ow ow. I had a huge sacar on my neck I was so unlucky i was in big trouble. But i had no time to think about that, i was spread out on the ground coulnt talk couldnt move. Then all of a sudden the cows started to come out. ZOOM! soon i was covered in mud dad was here to save me! HOORAY i thought soon I was home and mum was waiting for me! 

The following week:
I went out on the farm and said to mum:''Who cares what happens on the farm because i love it here and the worst has already happened so I'll be fine!


  1. Great to see you using language features, they help to put a picture in the reader's mind. You need to take more care to edit your punctuation and capital letters, especially "I". Good idea to show the character's thinking in italics.

  2. Hi Charlie, I could just see you opening that gate and riding your bike through. Oh dear...I am so pleased you were okay. Grandma